Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
