how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
