Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
