why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
