My room smells like vodka and shame
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
