dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
