I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
