Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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