i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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