Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
