I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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