i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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