Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We got so high we made milksteak
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
