Sponge bath it is.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
