is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
