drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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