wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
