it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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