My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
