he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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