If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
