I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
