I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
