if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
