I will die if light touches me.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
