I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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