I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
