How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
