it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
