You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
