I'm gonna have a badass scar
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
