Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
