im drinking this country out of the recession.
false alarm. still invincible.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
