Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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