my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
