bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
