i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
