O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He did a backflip because drugs
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