We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
