i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
