so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
