I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Bring me that man meat
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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