Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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