I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
