My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
