trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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