Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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