marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
