i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
