whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize