at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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