I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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