Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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