her vagine was all disorganized.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
try to milk me bitch
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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