he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
