What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
