So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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