I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
