u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
