he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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