I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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