Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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