Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
