with your own penis?
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
