I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
